How to help your husband become an ideal father? Any ideas!
Remember the children's song "About the Pope", in which he"It can be anything, only mother can not be"? Mom may not be able to, but being an ideal father is a must! How to help her husband become the best dad for the baby, awaken in him the fatherly instincts and teach him to receive an unforgettable pleasure from communicating with the child? Women with this is easier. A set of put mother equipment is "bundled" for pregnancy. The future mother of 9 months accustoms herself to her role, and after the birth of the crumb she acts as if under the dictation of an invisible instructor dexterously coping with her duties, showing timely care and attention. Sometimes, of course, malfunctions occur in maternal instinctual programs. The society for such mothers is extremely negative, which can not be said of poorly developed fatherly instincts, which until recently were considered almost the norm.
Fortunately, in modern society has becomethere is a tendency to popularize paternity. On the streets, parks, parents' courses and developing classes for kids, you can see popes more often. The reason for this was the paternal fashion pacing in the country. However, like any fashionable trend, it can go away, giving way to, for example, brutality or freedom from parental responsibilities. The title of a good father should become an intrafamily good tradition, where the father will change with pleasure and the pampers, and buys, and prepares food, and spend a sleepless night near a sick kid. Psychologists have determined the reasons for the indifference of some popes to their own children. They not only explained the reluctance of fathers to show increased interest in caring for the child and the process of his upbringing, but also developed ways to awaken the sleeping parents' instincts of the husband and contribute to the manifestation of his talent as a good father.
Reason # 1: Fatigue
Heavy work and burden of responsibility forfinancial support for the family is one of the most common causes of male apathy, which is manifested in relation to the child and caring for him. Here it is necessary to act with sensitivity and feminine wisdom:
It is not necessary to hand over to the husband his precious child directlyon the threshold. Let your loved one get some rest and switch from working problems to a homely atmosphere. Let him change clothes, have supper, tell over a cup of tea about the past day. That's when you can give a child under his care, to rest or to fulfill the planned work.
Let her husband always have time and opportunity forquality rest - in the company of friends, watching football or in healing solitude. Allow him a personal space in which there are no responsibilities, even if it is a game with a toddler. But the mother should have time, destined exclusively for herself.
Take care of your husband when he is engaged in the baby. Men do not always have the flexibility to create comfortable conditions that will facilitate rest during their stay with the child. For example, when the daddy bathes the crumb, take care of his back and prepare a comfortable little stool. So he not only gets tired, but also with great pleasure will be involved in the process of bathing.
Reason # 2: Inability
It happens that, observing the ideal care,which my mother wraps around the baby, my father worries that he will never understand this "wisdom". To avoid exposure, he avoids spending time with the child, arguing that taking care of him is a mother talent. Well, I'll have to show him a couple of master classes. The main thing is that it does not happen, as in the famous cartoon: "You can not - I'll teach, you do not want - I'll make it!"
Categorical ultimatums and requirements - directthe way to the resistance of the husband to fulfill his parental responsibilities. Such dads are best introduced to the cause through gentleness, tact and patience. Perhaps, not immediately he will be able to believe that his hands know how to be as clever as his mother's, and most likely will have to show several times how to change a diaper or how to make a mashed potatoes. And let him at first do it unskilfully and only from time to time, but let him do it! It is important not to press or insist, but simply patiently listen to his grumbling, but continue to help him develop "fatherly skills."
Trust in nature. She has instilled in every man the instinct to be a dad. Let him get used to this honorable mission and enter into the taste. Forget about criticism, remarks and caustic comments. You can gently correct mistakes, unobtrusively teach or even ask for advice. And most importantly, be sure to sincerely praise your husband for success and support any of his initiatives to spend time with the child. Only in this way the parent will overcome the complexes and learn to be the best dad.
Reason 3: Unwillingness
Some "true" men are sure thatfuss with the child - "babskoe matter." His task is to provide the family, physically hard work on the house and protect their territory from external encroachment. Everything else, including diapers / diapers / toys, is a matter solely of the feminine mind. Such delusion is fraught with deplorable consequences for both the child and the man himself. To attract her husband to the upbringing and caring for the baby of his own free will and a great desire is possible if one adheres to the following tactics:
Irritation or boredom of the father in the company of the baby, notjust an unpleasant picture for mom. This attitude of the parent is subtly felt by the child. The pope "sows" the seeds of future conflicts and misunderstandings from his side, without even realizing it. It seems to him that a tiny daughter or son because of his age still do not understand anything, respectively, until they grow up, there is nothing to waste time. Mother must intervene here, but without moralizing. "Translate" the emotions of the baby to the husband, say his feelings: "He does not want to fall asleep without you," "Hold him! Let me feel the male power and fatherly care, "" Nobody can calm him down so quickly as you ", etc.
If dad is afraid to look toosentimental and shifts his paternal responsibilities to his mother, give him an example of male fathers who are for the husband an indisputable authority. If they remained so for him and after they became caring daddies, then I must admit that paternity does not spoil masculinity, but, on the contrary, strengthens it in the eyes of the public. A brutal man who does not hide love and tenderness for his children can forgive everything in the world!
