How to forget the past

Our memory is arranged quite bizarrely: it is never possible to know in advance what we will be able to easily forget, and what memories will torment for a long time, not allowing us to break with the past. Negative thoughts about past situations prevent you from moving forward. Therefore, from time to time, almost every person thinks about how to forget the past.

Forgetting the past consciously is not easy enough (about the same as not thinking about a white elephant): The more we try to forget something, the better we remember it. Moreover, if we are constantly reminded ofpast things, people, places ... So you need to try to get rid of everything that can become a trigger, reminding you of the unpleasant experience that you want to forget.

If, say, you have experienced a painfulparting, you can hide all the joint photos and received gifts, do not listen to "your" song, stop drinking coffee in a cafe, where you often went on dates. This does not mean that now you will not be able to listen to this song for the rest of your life and go to this cafe: simply You need to wait until they stop causing unpleasant memories from you.

Completely forget the past is impossible (we do not consider amnesia - this variant is unlikely to suit you), but you can try rethink it in this wayinstead of the negative feelings of memories ofpast caused positive or at least neutral. Usually the problem is that negative experience is remembered better than positive. However, this does not mean that there was more of it.

Try coolly think about the situation you had to endure and which you want to forget about, and try to findthere are positive aspects in it. It may not be easy, but remember - that does not kill us, it makes us stronger. Despite the fact that memories still hurt you, you have already experienced this situation, you have become a little stronger - it remains to find in yourself these newfound forces to let go of the past.

Some people forget the past helps change the situation. Only you decide how much it will beradical: you can just take a vacation and change jobs, and you can move to another city and start life from scratch. But remember, external changes will not erase the past in one moment: they are only a help, but if you really do not want to forget, even moving to the other end of the globe will not help you, because you will "drag" your past behind you.

The same applies to changes in appearance. Forgetting the past, we seem to be newpeople (after all, memories are part of a person). For some people, internal changes must be supported by external changes: changing hair, hair color, style of clothes, they seem to prove to others and themselves that the past is left behind. However, it is worth repeating: by themselves, changes in appearance will not help to forget the past. But here you can use them to "fix the result".

The past is part of every person. It is impossible to forget the past, but you canforget the pain caused by past events. To learn to live the present, it is necessary to extract from the past all useful experience and try not to repeat mistakes made in the past. Our past is part of us, but it is up to us to decide how big this part will be. This does not mean, of course, that the past must be completely erased from your life. This means that you need to learn not to cling to it, but to understand: what has happened has passed.