A romance with a former

Far from stopping everything after partingcommunication with the former: if the separation was not painful, many prefer to remain friends or at least friends, not wanting to permanently erase from their lives a person with whom so many pleasant memories are associated. But only the feelings do not pass right away, and Sometimes at friendly encounters there is a desire to return everything back. If it is reciprocal, the couple can give themselves a second attempt, but will it be successful?

It all depends on the reasons why you decide ona romance with the former, and he decides to romance with you. If you both realize your mistakes, draw conclusions from bitter experience and want to start everything from scratch, maybe something will come of it. but It is important to understand that the relationship that you had, you will not return: you need to build new ones, given your previous mistakes.

But the desire to start everything from a clean slate is not the only reason people decide to revive past relationships. Sometimes the pair again converges under the influence of nostalgia, not realizing that the way it was will never be. In fact, they try to meet with the memory, in an idealized way, and in most cases, a repeated break is just a matter of time.

There is also a category of people for whom a romance with a former partner is a kind of surrogate relationship. They are not ready to start a new relationship, butthey do not want to be alone. It is very convenient: you do not need to adapt to a new person in your life, guaranteed to have good sex ... However, such relationships are inadequate: they do not develop and do not allow to move on.

Another reason why people decide to renew their relationship with the former is self-affirmation. Like, you did not find anyone better than me and crawledback. Of course, we do not have to talk about feelings here, everything is tied to self-esteem. This reason is closely related to another, which can be conditionally called "So do not get yourself to anyone". While the former one, you do not care for him. However, it is worthwhile to learn that he has a new relationship, how you are trying to get him back. It's not even jealousy, but rather a sense of property.

The novel with the former has both pluses and minuses. Let's start, perhaps, with the pros. First, you never need to deprive yourself of a chancefor luck: there is always a probability, at least scanty, that you will be able to start all over again and become as happy as before the separation. Secondly, starting a new relationship with an old partner, you already know all the "dangerous places" and do not allow those mistakes that would have been made in a new relationship with someone you do not know well enough.

But also minuses in this situation abound. The charm of new novels is in the feelingnovelty, romantic flair (or in a frenzied passion - someone like that). With a former partner, you have already passed all this, so in your re-novel you run the risk of missing the notorious "candy-bouquet period" (or very much reduce it) and immediately immerse yourself in the routine of relations. And if you have not completely forgotten past grievances and claims, they can come up with each new quarrel.

Of course, it's up to you to decide whether it's worth starting a romance with the former and trying to build relationships again. You have a chance of success, if you both forgotpast grievances, draw conclusions from their mistakes and want to start all over again. The key word is "both", because one person can not "pull on himself" a revived relationship. But if you want to start anew because you are afraid to be alone, because of the desire to assert yourself, to remake the partner for yourself - in general, out of a sense of selfishness - it is unlikely that you will be able to "resuscitate" your relationship.