Relations between the "former"

The first time after parting is better to tryAs little as possible intersect with each other and temporarily stop communication, even if you parted in a good way. The end of any relationship is the beginning of a new stage in life, and in order to successfully pass to this stage, much needs to be rethought and freed from the ghosts of the past. Only after some time you can understand, whether you should try to maintain friendly or friendly relations, or your ways have gone forever.

It is clear that if the separation was painful,heavy, with scandals and "pulling skeletons out of cabinets," a good relationship between the "former" is in most cases utopia. Do not take old wounds. But you still need to try to forgive once a loved one. Hidden hatred gnaws us from within and prevents us from achieving harmony with ourselves. Forgive and forget - only so you can safely start a new life.

If the parting was calm, without mutual claims and reproaches, friendly relations between the "former" are quite possible. But here there are their pitfalls. Often in such a relationship, one person is really trying to be friends, and the second is still experiencing romantic feelings and cherishes the hope of reunion. Such a relationship between the "former" is unpromising: love is left behind, and there is very little chance of coming together again, but there is no real friendship either.

But even if the friendship is completely sincere, there can be some problems if one of the two (or both) tries to build new love relationships. In this case, they will almost certainly have to face the jealousy of a new passion. It is very difficult to believe that your young man (girl) with the "former" ("former") is just friends, especially if the "former" or "former" second half does not.

Most likely, sooner or later you will have to choose between a new love and an old friendship. therefore more optimal option will be strong friendly relations: you are good to each other, time fromtime you meet for a cup of coffee, but do not spend too much time together. So your halves will have no cause for jealousy, and you yourself - the temptation to try to start all over again.

There are cases when after parting the former couple does not burn with the desire to communicate, but it is necessary. Say, if they work together, or if they have a common cause. The business relationship between the "former" is simple enough, if the feelings have passed, no one is offended by anyone, and both are able to control themselves. In this case, you can restrainedly communicate in the context of their duties. But if the work side-by-side with a former lover delivers too much discomfort, it may be worth changing jobs.

If you were bound by a common cause, do not rush to "cut" the business and disrupt it, especially if you have achieved a lot. Try to talk like adults and settle further joint business. You can distribute responsibilities. If you do not want to intersect too often - communicate through helpers or some other way. Do not ruin a profitable business because of personal differences.

A separate category is relations between former spouses who have common children. How you will communicate with each other is youra personal matter, but if the children stayed with you, you should not forbid them to communicate with the second parent (unless, of course, he was deprived of parental rights). Children have the right to attention and love of both parents. And one moment. In the role of which parent you would be - "permanent" or "coming" - do not scold the children of the second parent, do not slander him. To the child after divorce and so it is heavy, do not aggravate it.

A special case is the free relationship between the "former". Officially they are not together, but from time to timemeet for sex without commitment. There is an advantage here - sex with a proven partner who knows exactly how to give pleasure, and no obligations. But in this situation it is very difficult to start a new relationship. And the same underwater stone, as in friendship: if someone else has feelings, for him, such relations will be an "anchor" that does not allow them to move on, and it's hard to give them up.

Warm friendly relations between the "former" are quite real. The main thing is to take a break before deciding what kind of relationship you want with the "former" ("former"), and not build illusions.