How to forgive yourself
Paradoxically, but to forgive another person forthe offense that is inflicted on us is often easier than forgiving ourselves for any committed misconduct. The sense of guilt burns from within, prevents living and enjoying life. How can I forgive myself?
During life, each person commits mistakes of varying severity. Someone experiences them quite easily, but there is a category of people who treat themselves much more demanding than others. It is usually not easy for them to forgive themselves for their mistakes, even when all the others have long considered the incident to be exhausted. How to forgive yourself and find the strength to live on?
To begin with, remember that time machines do not exist. This means that you can not go back in time and fix everything. What happened, it happened: it's impossible to turn back the clock. Therefore, it is necessary to reconcile with the fact that this happened. Yes, you were wrong, but you can not blame yourself all your life for it: no one is mistaken only who does nothing.
In order for you to forgive yourself, you need to be forgiven by the person (people) that you hurt. Apologize to him - sincerely, not "fortick ". Be patient, do not press and be intrusive: as you know, time heals. It may take a long time before you are forgiven, especially if you have lost the confidence of a person. To be forgiven, you will need to earn your trust again by appropriate actions. But resentment for life is not so common: sooner or later you will be forgiven, and after that you can forgive yourself.
However, it often happens that forgiving yourselfit is not possible even when others around you have already forgiven. What to do in this case? Much depends on the warehouse of your character, your worldview and beliefs. If you believe in God, you can ask for forgiveness from him: perhaps the realization that you have been forgiven "there" will help you to forgive yourself. But you do not need to go to church and pray for sins, if you really do not believe in God: that will not help.
You can try to convince oneself that you deserve forgiveness, using logical arguments. First, decide on the terms, if I may say so. The fact is that some people confuse self-forgiveness with self-justification, but these are different things. Self-justification is a way to avoid responsibility for a committed offense, when a person comes up with arguments to prove to himself that he really is not guilty. This is when you say to yourself: "We do not care, we live on!".
Unlike self-justification, Self-forgiveness is not a negation or ignoring, but a confession of guilt. You are fully aware that you were wrong,But do not give this feeling of guilt to poison your life. To forgive yourself, you need to learn from the situation, understand what you did wrong, and most importantly - to determine how to behave in order to prevent such a mistake in the future.
The sense of guilt is very unconstructive. It literally "sucks" of you energy. Instead of using your mental powers for self-improvement (which, by the way, will help you avoid mistakes in the future), you use them to feed up indignation and anger towards yourself. Stop "feeding" the ghosts of the past, use this energy to build a new future.
To forgive yourself, it takes strength and courage, so try to find them in yourself. The ability to forgive yourself will help you move on in life without becoming a victim of your own contempt. Sometimes, of course, a dose of moderate self-flagellationuseful, but the key word here is "moderate". You can not punish yourself all your life for misconduct, it is important to draw conclusions from it and not step twice on the same rake.
