Love and love: how to distinguish?

Considering the question "love or love" It is necessary to specify a little, what feelings to take into account. After all, the feeling of love from the point of view of psychologistshas five stages of manifestation. The very first is the infant phase. At this stage, a person loves himself - the little child puts his needs above everything else. The baby's ego requires that others take care only of the baby. On the other hand, if you do not take care of the child, he will be doomed to death. Over time, this infantile love for oneself is transferred to people who are constantly caring for the child. Therefore, the first people that a person loves in their life are their parents.

After few years, When a child grows up a little, he will have an interest in peers. And in the period of adolescence, a person begins to turnattention to the opposite sex. But even at this time, the love that teenagers can feel is not real. After all, the feeling of love is still seen through the eyes of the baby, who until a certain time lives in each of us. The teenager wants all attention to be paid to him: it is more important for him that he is given love, not him.

And here in the phase of mature love, the personal ego is pushed into the background - First of all, a person starts thinking about his partner. That's exactly the love of this phase is often confused with love. So, how does love differ from being in love?

To begin with, it should be understood that Love and love have a set of different "symptoms" that should be distinguished. So, the feeling of flight and enthusiasm happens only during the time of falling in love. These two feelings pass quickly enough, but everything depends on the sensuality of the person.

It is important to remember that the feeling of love has almost nothing to do with the real partner. Most often a person falls in love with an image thathe created for himself. It has long been known that every person has his own ideal of a woman or a man. Starting a new relationship, it seems to everyone that he has found exactly whom he was looking for. So it turns out that falling in love makes you perceive a new partner is not what he really is. A new partner can not have absolutely all the qualities that are inherent in an ideal image.

Being in a state of euphoria, a person does not notice that in fact, the partner chosen by him is not what he sees. But for a long time no one canbeing in a state of euphoria, so love very quickly passes. In some, it can last only a couple of hours, while others are in a state of love up to 9 months. When the veil disappears from the eyes, it becomes clear that the relationship was either a mistake, or have no future.

Of course, Do not despair and think that mutual love will not turn into something more - in true love. Of course, such a scenario is also possible. But this way of developing relations is a bit more complicated. There is always the possibility that there will be complete disappointment in the partner. It is the inability to distinguish love and love from each other and cause the collapse of many couples.

So how to distinguish love from love? To begin with, you should soberly assess the whole situation. Ask yourself: what are you ready for your partner? Also it does not hurt to think about what exactly you expect from love, whether it requires mutual efforts to preserve it. If you think that love is only happiness that falls on you "from heaven" ... You are not yet able to distinguish love from love. Do not despair, this experience comes to everyone in time, to one - before, and to others - later.

Finally, it should be said that Do not rejoice if you understand that your partner is in love with you. This state of your partner does not yet givehope that your relationship will be successful. If you are really sure that you have found your "soul mate" and do not want to lose it, you should love this person with all his shortcomings and virtues. But do not expect that your partner will change just for you.