Your child's first love

Of course, your fears are understandable and natural. However, your attitude towards the first love of your child will in many respects determine your further relationships with him. Whether your child will trust you with his heartfelt secrets or will be closed and secretive - everything is in your hands.

First love can come in 16 years and 3 years. Psychologists distinguish 4 ages of childish love:

• Preschooler. Even if your child is a preschooler, it is not worth itto be surprised that he fell in love. At this age, children are still so spontaneous, they do not know how to hide their feelings, and they do not consider it necessary. Your little son can come and tell you that he loves a girl from the group in a kindergarten, and will call her his bride. But do not rush to ridicule the child, because we are talking about his feelings, which for him are very real and serious. True, this will not prevent your little girl from declaring tomorrow that his bride is now a completely different girl.
  

  At this age, children do not fall in love withman, but in his qualities, traits of character. Look at who your baby falls in love with, and you will understand what he values ​​most: beauty, intelligence, strength, agility, etc. How to help the baby, if he asked you for advice? Tell him about your childhood, about how you behaved in such situations, accessible to his understanding of the language.



• Junior schoolboy. The child grows and with him grow and hisideas of love. Now he is embarrassed to openly express his feelings. Quite often in the company of junior schoolchildren, sympathy for the opposite sex is considered a manifestation of weakness and ridiculed. This encourages the child to show aggression or ostentatious indifference, to mock the object of sympathy.
  

  You, as a parent, it is important to show attention andcare. But behave with the child, as with an adult, emphasizing his independence and the right to choose. If you do not like how your son or daughter expresses their feelings toward the object of sympathy, then try to tell the child about your experience. How they took care of you at this age, that you liked and did not like. Only in this conversation it is desirable that both parents participate, so that the child sees the attitude to the situation from both the male and the female point of view.

  
  

  All parents are afraid that love will interferestudy, and with all their strength they try to convince the child of the frivolity of his feelings, press on him. But in your power to make the child understand that a good performance - this is another trump card to attract the attention of the chosen one or the chosen one.

  
  


• Teenager. The first love in adolescence is one ofthe most difficult periods. Teenagers strive for independence, any of your actions are regarded as an intrusion into personal life. Your opinion and authority are being questioned and at this age it is important not to miss the thread of communication with the child. Often adolescents fall in love with someone they think friends will like, cause them envy and admiration. But this choice does not like parents at all. If this is your case, you will have to leave your claims to yourself. If you "nag" the child, impose his opinion on him, then all that you will achieve is even more stubbornness and disobedience.
  

  It is extremely important to try to understand what exactlyattracts your child in his chosen one. If the child tries to assert himself in this way, your task is to help him realize that there are other ways of self-affirmation, and together find these ways.



• The senior pupil. Becoming older, your child (though, honestlyon heart, for a long time already and not the child) forms for itself an image of the ideal chosen one. And if the embodiment of this ideal occurs in reality (in the opinion of your child), then for the sake of a loved one a high school student is ready for any sacrifices. At this age, young lovers perceive any of your attempts to intervene as a tragedy. You can also leave home, and early marriages, and your unexpected transition to the status of "grandparents."
  

  It is difficult to resist intervention ifthe chosen one or the chosen one of your child you do not like. But if you try to somehow quarrel the lovers, then please note that it is you who will later be to blame for any outcome. Better try to explain to your high school student that the first love does not necessarily last a lifetime, and the object of his adoration is not the only representative of the opposite sex. Try to explain to your child that there is much more interesting in life ahead.

But do not hide the child "under the winglet" fromall life's problems. Even if your child did not listen to your advice, did it in his own way and made a mistake, that he is gaining experience, he just needs cones. Better refrain from saying: "I told you so!".