How to talk

Previously, conversation was considered an art. By whether a person could talk, it was possible to judge his upbringing and education. Now the art of conversation has partially lost its value, and it's a pity: the better the two people can talk, the easier it is for them to reach a mutual understanding.

About how to conduct a conversation, entire books are written, so it is very difficult to talk about the conversation in one small article. But nevertheless let's try to allocate at least basic moments, which will help you in the event that it will be difficult for you to find a contact with the interlocutor.

How to start a conversation? It is best to start a conversation with a question: the usual statement (statement of fact) is notimplies an answer, so you can be ignored. But the need to answer a question in most cases involves a person in conversation. But what to ask? There are three main topics from which it is best to start a conversation: the situation in which you are with the interlocutor, your interlocutor or yourself.

The latter option may seem the mostconvenient (all people like to talk about themselves), but in this case you have little chance to "untwist" the interlocutor to talk, especially if he is a closed-minded person. therefore Try not to talk about yourself until you are asked; if you do not ask, it means that you are interlocutor(yet) are not interesting. However, most people readily respond to questions that concern themselves. But in this case, you need to be careful: suddenly the interlocutor will consider such issues an invasion of his personal territory?

therefore the safest topic for starting a conversation - the situation in which you were with an interlocutor. It will involve the interlocutor much more in a conversation than your story about yourself, but he will not feel obligated to share his personal information when answering your questions.

Let's say you got to be interested in the interlocutor and start a conversation. What's next? How to conduct a conversation in such a way that it does not fade? The most important skill for maintaining a conversation is not the ability to speak, but the ability to listen, and listen actively. The interlocutor literally "blossoms" if he sees that he is being listened to, and even with pleasure. Therefore, developing active listening skills is an important part of learning the art of conversation.

Support the conversation will help matters. However, they need to be properly formulated and asked at the right time. Do not ask too open questions thatmore like a standard cliché, for example, "Well, how was your day?" However, they should not be too specific, so that the interlocutor does not feel himself, as if on interrogation. And remember: if you asked a question, it is implied that you want to hear the answer to it. It is not necessary to ask "a question for the sake of the question"; ask when there really is a need.

Of course, during the conversation you will not have tojust listen, but also talk. How to conduct a conversation in such a way as to give the impression of a pleasant interlocutor? It is very important not only what you say, but also how you say it. Therefore it is very important to work on your speech. Good diction and pleasant intonations will help you to arrange the interlocutor to yourself. Avoid words-parasites, jargon, dubious jokes, and the use of words, the meanings of which you do not know.

Remember that two people participate in the conversation, so the success of the conversation will also depend on both interlocutors. A pledge of good conversation - respect for your interlocutor, which should be shown not only in words, but also in deeds. And more: do not be afraid to talk and fight with a negative attitude, then you will certainly succeed!