How to learn to trust people

Fear of being betrayed is inherent in almost every person, and distrust can be considered one of the manifestations of the instinct of self-preservation. Do not trust strangers - this is normal, but Mistrust in close relations prevents us from fully enjoying them. Many of the charms of love and friendship - mutual support, the joy of sharing pastimes, real intimacy - become inaccessible if we are afraid to trust a friend / partner.

To learn to trust, you first need to understand the reasons for their distrust. Is it related to negative experience or youthere are good reasons not to trust a particular person? In the second case, your confidence is fully justified: if a man once failed you, he'll have to earn your trust again. However, if your lack of trust in a person does not have a specific soil, you will have to work on yourself.

If you want to learn to trust a person, you need abstract from previous negative experience. Of course, it is important to draw conclusions from it, buttogether with this it is worth remembering that all people are different, all relationships are different. If you are deceived once, this does not mean that it will be repeated one after another. Try not to transfer the negative experience of previous relationships to new ones, if for no good reason.

Try to look at things easier and more optimistic: It is not necessary in every situation to immediately assume the worst possible outcome. Most often, being late is just a delay, not a sign of betrayal. A SMS from a classmate is really a text message from a classmate, not from a mistress, prudently renamed "Vasya Ivanova". Do not feed your paranoia, otherwise it will devour you from the inside.

If you have any suspicions, do not be afraid to talk to each other: a joint discussion of the situation will help in itsort out. Many people are afraid to start a conversation, fearing that their worst fears will be justified. But remember that anxious suspense is much more destructive for a relationship than a frank conversation. In most cases, after a conversation, it turns out that all the reasons for concern were contrived.

The conversation should be calm. In no event should one start with reproaches,accusations, criticism: the interlocutor will go "on the defensive," and it is unlikely that you will be able to clarify the situation. Remember: distrust hurts. If it is difficult for you to trust the person unconditionally, even if you do not need to constantly remind him of this.

It is important not to forget that one of the foundations of trust is sincerity. To learn to trust, you need to be sincerewith close people. Then they will be sincere with you in return, and it will be easier for you to trust them. Trust must be mutual, and this can only be achieved by mutual sincerity.

To build a trusting relationship, proceed from the presumption of innocence: a person is not guilty of anything until the opposite is proven. Proceed from the fact that a person is absolutely honest with you - the only way you can learn to trusthim. And do not constantly look for evidence that he is cheating on you, fueling his distrust. Never put a person in an exculpatory position, forcing him to report.

Learning to trust people is difficult, especiallyif in the past you had to face lies and betrayal. Learn to see the best qualities in people and tell them about it. Learn to respect other people and accept them as they are, with all their strengths and weaknesses. Learn to understand people. All this is a good foundation for building trust.