Active listening - "key" to the interlocutor
Many people believe that it's nice to talk - it'sIt's hard, and eloquence needs to be learned, but everyone can listen to it. In fact, listening is also necessary to learn, because the ability to listen largely determines the success of communication. One of their techniques, helping to locate an interlocutor, is active listening.
It is usually believed that in the conversation the narrator playsactive role, and the listener is passive, nothing is required from him at all. But only a passive listener can cause the narrator to feel that he is talking in the void. Active listening also helps to locate the interlocutor, showing interest in what he says.
Active listening is a skill that can be brought to automatism. Exist active listening methods, which is quite possible to master, if you constantly train. What are the components of active listening?
Active listening is the ability to listen "with your whole body". If we are interested in what the person says, weturn to face him or even the whole body and look into his eyes. And if we turn away from the interlocutor and examine the objects in the room, we thereby show that we are indifferent to the interlocutor and the subject of the conversation.
Therefore, first turn to the interlocutor andLook into his eyes, not on the sides. But do not bend too close, interfering with your personal space, and at least occasionally look away, otherwise the interlocutor may seem as if you are hypnotizing him. Everything is good in moderation.
Respond to what the interlocutor says. For this you can use gestures (nodding), and words ("yes", "I understand you", etc.). But it is important not to overdo it, otherwise you will be caught in insincerity.
Another way to show that you are interested in the interlocutor is paraphrase. From time to time, repeat in your own wordsthoughts of the interlocutor. This, firstly, will show him that you are listening to him, and secondly, he will help you clarify the meaning of the statement, and the interlocutor - if necessary, adjust their words. But, again, the paraphrase is good in moderation, you do not need to "parrot", it's annoying.
Active listening can also include development of the interlocutor's thoughts. But in this case, in no case can not interrupt,ending the sentence instead of the interlocutor. Do not try to "help" him if he did not finish. Let the interlocutor finish the sentence, and only then you can pick up and develop further the basic idea, if there is such a need.
Ask if you do not understand something. Questions are in no way an indicatoryour stupidity. They will only let the interlocutor understand that you are interested in the subject of the conversation and want to get additional information or clarify what is already available. In addition, a timely question can help the interlocutor if he has difficulty with the wording of the thought.
But too many questions can lead to the thought that you are not listening, so you should ask the right questions at the right time. In addition, ask a question - it's still half the battle, you need to listen carefully to the answer for which you, in fact, asked the question.
Active listening is also called empathic, because it affects not only the information sphere, but also the emotional one. Show the interlocutor that you understand and share his feelings. This technique is similar to paraphrase, but in the case of paraphrase, the emphasis is on information, and here - on feelings. Do not be afraid to make a mistake in understanding the feelings of the interlocutor: if anything, he will correct you.
Do not press on the other person, be benevolent. If he is upset and upset and notis set to a frank conversation, leave him alone for a while. It is not necessary to arrange an interrogation, even if disguised as a concern: this will only discourage the desire to communicate with you.
Active listening will help you gain the trust of the interlocutor and get more information than the communication partner would tell you in the usual situation. In addition, you can Learn to better understand the emotions and feelings of the interlocutor, so the skills of active listening will help you "pump" and your emotional intelligence.
It is very important to listen actively to parents - it will help to find a common language with the child. After all, the main greeting in communicating parents with children is the inability of parents to understand the feelings of the child. And the skills of active listening just help in understanding the feelings of the interlocutor.
Active listening is the ability not only to hear, but also to understand not only what was said, but also how and why it was said. Listen actively, and people will be drawn to you.
