An imaginary friend: is there any cause for concern?

An imaginary friend allows the child to cope with emotional problems, for example, loneliness. Let's say you moved to another area, orthe child went to kindergarten and had not yet managed to adapt there, or a younger brother and sister appeared in the family. The child feels lonely, and he has a friend who is always there. With him you can share your experiences, talk heart to heart. Sometimes the role of such an imaginary friend is played by a toy.

Sometimes an imaginary friend plays the role of a kind of "a whipping boy". This happens if the child has strict parents or a tutor in the kindergarten. When a child is punished (even for work), he does not always understand adults - life experience is not enough. But he feels the problem, therefore he tries to stage an unpleasant situation, placing himself in the place of an adult, and in his place - an imaginary friend. If your child has such a friend, observe: perhaps you do not know something about your child's educator ... or about yourself.

In some cases, the child dumps on an imaginary friend They are afraid of losing your love and disposition. And the stronger the child is afraid of punishment, the greater the temptation to dump everything on a fictitious friend.

Another imaginary friend can perform a role defender. If a child is offended in real life, he mayseek protection at least in the imagination (often children are not in a hurry to share their problems with adults). Here, in this case, you can not let the situation drift: you need to find real abusers and, perhaps, turn to a psychologist.

And sometimes an imaginary friend appears at the child simply because to him bored. In that case, think, maybe the child just does not have your attention?

What can an imaginary friend be useful for? First, its appearance indicates that your child has a well-developed imagination and creativity. Secondly, as already mentioned above, an imaginary friend helps cope with emotional problems: to struggle with loneliness, to splash out aggression.

Thirdly, an imaginary friend often helps the child to adapt to the world around him. With him, the child can communicate as he wants (inlife is often hampered by shyness). With an imaginary friend, you can behave as you want, and not as required - this is the first step towards independence. Finally, with an imaginary friend, the child "loses" life situations, systematizing knowledge gained about life.

Is it worth to play along with the child?? If an imaginary friend does not cause anyvisible problems, you can play along to a certain degree - for example, put an extra chair during dinner or give a cookie for an imaginary friend. But do not let the child shift the blame on an imaginary friend. To forbid to communicate with the friend undesirable - The child will still continue to do this, only in secret from you.

And think for what the child needs an imaginaryfriend, what problem is behind this. If the child is lonely, try to spend more time with him and find new friends. If the child has come up with a "whipping boy", perhaps you need to be with him a little softer. In general, the best thing you can do if your child has an imaginary friend is give the child more attention and draw conclusions from his games.

When to start worrying? If the child's stories about his fictional friendgloomy and cruel. If the child is so carried away by the game that he has lost his appetite or sleep, he has forgotten about other games and is reluctant to contact you. If the child began to confuse the game and reality, quarrels with his imaginary friend and falls into a depressed state because he became too dependent on the invented friend. In these cases, it is worth turn to a psychologist.

Years to 6-7 the need for a fictitious friendwill disappear, the child will have enough real friends, and he will learn to take responsibility for their actions, and not shift them to a fictitious friend. An imaginary friend is not a norm, it is not at all, but not deviation. Therefore, do not panic ahead of time, Give the child an opportunity to fantasize, but at the same time, make sure that the fantasy does not go too far.