The decisions that your life depends on

In the book of the same name, Tal Ben-Shahar, a former Harvard professor who led the most popular course on the science of happiness, tells about what and how to choose in order to become happy.

Play a person with an open heart or rush to give advice?

Many of us do not know how to listen. When a person begins to tell us something, we immediately rush to advise something without listening to a person. We believe in our own rightness and that our advice and thoughts are the ultimate truth, that we do not hear other people at all.

However, the secret of emotional support is,to be able to listen and hear another person. Sometimes people just need to speak out, but we need to hold on to ourselves our selfishness and our omniscience. In the early 1970s, a study was conducted that showed that the most outstanding leaders, first of all, were able to listen. So the term "leadership-ministry" appeared. "Servants" depicted and Moses, and Jesus, and Gandhi, and King. According to scientists, listening is one of the main skills of a happy person.

To be a consumer or to choose really high-quality pleasures?

Many of us are very tightly seated on"Consumer" needle. We sat down on consumption and can not stop. As soon as we have money, we immediately strive to spend their new car, apartment, gadgets, clothes. And the more we have, the more we want. Many measure the amount of happiness the amount of money and material wealth.

In this case, the research of Professor Leonardo Nikolaoproved that once a person satisfies his basic needs, he no longer becomes happy with new things. They make him fleeting joy, which lasts just a couple of days.

The most priceless are those emotions and impressions,which we receive. All the best in our life can be obtained completely free of charge - hugs, kisses, walks with the family. So, before you a choice: to go relax with the whole family or buy a new car. And what will you choose?

Put a psychological defense or Discover a new

Many of us do not like criticism. It is like poison for us. We try to do our best not to receive and not to feel it. But criticism is only a psychological defense that does not allow us to move forward. How does it come about, this protection? Very simple.

In childhood we are brought up so that we must befirst, we must be the best. And what's next? The child grows up with the feeling that if he made a mistake, he is bad and he will not be loved. And he just puts the block on criticism.

The price for this psychological defense is incrediblehigh: if a person does not accept criticism, he builds a wall between himself and potentially useful ideas, among themselves and other people. He also deprives himself of the chance to become really close with people.

The only way out is to ask criticism from people. Ask them to criticize themselves. Learn how you can improve yourself. Do not be afraid, be open, listen!

As soon as you begin to listen to criticism from your address, you will realize that you still have much to grow. Recognize that you are not ideal and treat criticism as an excellent tool to change yourself.

Say "NO" to yourself or be honest?

"No" is one of the most seemingly simple wordsfor pronunciation, and at the same time this is the most difficult word. We very often can not refuse other people, because we want to look good. We can not refuse, because we feel like we owe people something.

At the same time, we forget that very often "YES"told to another person, this is "NO", told to itself. In order to become happy and successful, you need to be able to say "YES", first of all, to yourself.

If you find it difficult to deny other people, then youyou can use the technique of compromise. For example, your very fickle friend asks him to borrow money. At the same time, you know that he can not repay a loan for several months, but for you it is very inconvenient. Then you tell him: "I'm sorry, I can not take money from you now, but let's return to this conversation in three months."

So, what will you choose? Say "no" to others and "yes" to yourself? Or vice versa?

On the remaining lessons of a happy and conscious life, read in the book "What will you choose?"