How to restore trust

Usually, the loss of trust is associated with usadultery. But this is not the only offense that leads to a loss of confidence. Failure to fulfill promises, lies and deception, the contradiction between words and deeds - all this can cast doubt on the credibility of a person.

It should be remembered that each person has his own trust: for example, someone calmly refers to flirting,not considering it as something reprehensible, but someone equates flirting with treason. To prevent situations in which you need to return the trust of a friend or partner, it is advisable to compare your trust boundaries at the very beginning of the relationship in order not to violate them involuntarily.

The first step to the return of confidence is the confession of guilt. If you want to regain trust simply because you are uncomfortable, but do not feel guilty, it is unlikely that you will succeed, at least at this stage.

Do not try to justify or lay the blame on someone else. You were wrong, you were guilty. But at the same time everyone has the right to make mistakes, the main thing is not to step on the same rake time after time. In order to move on, we need to draw conclusions from the situation, so that it does not happen again.

It is very important to be patient: to return the trust of a loved one, weeks, months and even years can go away. Understand: surviving betrayal is not easy. If you feel bad now, then try to imagine how bad you are to someone you deceived or betrayed. He feels resentment and disappointment, and getting rid of these feelings is not easy.

Give the person time and personal space, do not be intrusive: no matter how trite it may sound, time heals. Perhaps for a while you should reduce the communication to a minimum, just to not take care of the wounds that have barely begun to drag out.

When they let you know that they are ready to communicate with you again, you can begin the restoration of confidential relations with frank conversation. It is very important to acknowledge all your mistakes aloud and apologize. However, you do not need to pray for forgiveness,impose, cry, hysterical: it looks repulsive. Firstly, constantly apologizing, you once again remind you of the misdemeanor committed by you. Secondly, trust is not returned by words, but by deeds.

Even if a person believes in your repentance andaccepted your apologies, you need to prepare for the fact that at first the words and actions will be wary of you: one apology is not enough to gain confidence again. You should behave in such a way that you can not be doubted for a second. However, do not do it for show: look, they say, I am corrected. Everything should be natural, because you have to behave this way all the time, and not only during the struggle for the return of someone else's trust.

Do not call for help from other people, ask them to act as yourdefenders: you brewed this mess, you have to sort it out. Usually, the intervention of a third party in the relationship does not end with anything good. Moreover, if a person does not trust you, why should he trust someone else?

Of course, the universal recipe, how to returntrust, does not exist: very much depends on how you deceived the trust of another person, from your relationships and feelings that you feel for each other, from your characters. But if there was true love or friendship between you, sooner or later everything will return to normal. The main thing is to understand your mistake and never to repeat it again..