How to get rid of jealousy?

Of course, in cases where treason actually took place, jealousy is well-founded - but the problem here is not jealousy, but the very fact of treason. In the same article we will discuss jealousy unreasonable, not supported by real facts.

Moderate jealousy can benefitrelationships, giving them a kind of piquancy and keeping partners in good shape. But everything depends on the characteristics of the relations and the characters of the partners. It is very important to catch the moment when jealousy starts to hurt and destroy relationships: this is a sign that it's time to get rid of jealousy.

Before you try to get rid of jealousy, you need to find out its causes. The popular saying says: "Jealous - means loves," but not always jealousy is a consequence of great love. Causes of jealousy can be:

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  fear of remaining alone;
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  emotional dependence on a partner;
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  diffidence;
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  projective jealousy (we are jealous in the event that we ourselves give reasons for jealousy);
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  suspicion and excessive credulity to the words of "well-wishers";
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  selfishness and sense of ownership.

Try to understand which of these reasons applies to you. What makes you jealous? What are you afraid of? To whom or what are you jealous of? Because you can be jealous not only to a potential lover or mistress, but also to an interesting conversationalist and even to work. Often the fact of betrayal (it may not be) injures more than the fact that someone else's society is more pleasant to your partner than yours.

Then try to understand, is there really a reason for jealousy. Make a list of all the things that makeyou are jealous, and divide them into two groups: facts and assumptions. In most cases, the second group is much more voluminous. To get rid of jealousy, it is important to learn to separate the real facts that testify about treason, from speculation and assumptions, and not to make an elephant out of the fly.

If self-interest did not help, you need to talk to someone. Do not necessarily ask for advice - It is important that you are listened to. Often, speaking the problem out loud, we ourselveswe find a solution. But it is very important to find the right interlocutor: for example, a friend who does not love your husband will only warm up your jealousy. If you can not find an unbiased person in your environment, you can turn to a psychologist.

But heart-to-heart talks do not always help to get rid of jealousy. Therefore, having spread out all on the shelves, you need to act. If something does not suit you in a relationship - it's time for a change. Moreover, you need to start with yourself. Often jealousy is a consequence of self-doubtand plenty of free time. Find yourself some hobbies, make new acquaintances - just do not get carried away, and then they will start jealous of you.

And try again put yourself in the shoes of a partner. Different people have different ideas about freedom in relations: someone thinks that a couple should spend all their free time together, but for someone, they can not refuse periodic gatherings with friends.

Therefore, it is very important to discuss this point: even in relations everyone has the right to personal space, your task is to together determine the boundaries of this personal space, so that no one is injured. Perhaps in some moments you will have to compromise, but remember: A compromise is when both, and not someone is making concessions to please another.

It is important not to keep a partner on a leash: the forbidden fruit is sweet, and the more you restrict it, the greater the desire to break out of this framework. Relationships are built on trust, but if there is no trust, then jealousy is only a consequence of a more global problem in the relationship.

To get rid of jealousy, you need to treat a partner not as property, but as an equal. Each of us has the right to choose. Your favorite person has already made his choice - in your favor, and you do not need to doubt it. Instead of fighting jealousy, constantly focusing on her attention, you need to let go of your fears and enjoy relationships.

Did you have to deal with jealousy in a relationship? If so, did you manage to get rid of jealousy? Share your experience with our readers - it is possible that he will save some loving couple.