How to stop shy

Actually, shyness is characteristic of almost everyone, some just manage to disguise it. A person can appear self-confident and sociable from the outside, but inside he is still shy, he just gets to hide his embarrassment from prying eyes. Besides, it's normal to be shy in unfamiliar surroundings.

Another thing is when shyness manifests itself in almost any situation and poisons life. Some people, for example, hesitate to askpassers-by, getting lost in an unfamiliar area, or telling the seller that he incorrectly gave the change: it's easier for them to spend extra time searching for the right street or part with money than stop shy. In this case, you have to fight with shyness.

To start It is necessary to determine the degree of its shyness and its roots. Think about what situations yourShyness is the strongest? As we have already said, there are situations in which you feel shy - this is normal, so perhaps you are exaggerating the scale of the problem. In addition, it is not a fact that your shyness is noticeable to others, so ask friends and acquaintances if they consider you a shy person.

Ordinary causes of shyness - this is self-doubt, low self-esteem,complexes. So, people who have any problems with diction (for example, they do not pronounce the letter "p", etc.) are often shy, or those who are too much fixated on the opinion of others. To stop shy, you need to understand why you are shy, what are you afraid of, and already from this "dance".

If, say, you care about what others think about you, outline the circle of people whose opinion is really important to you. Usually such a circle includes relatives,close friends, teachers, bosses, etc. It should not include sellers, casual passers-by, distant acquaintances whom you see once a year (and then accidentally).

What does it matter what a passer-by will think of you, from whom you ask the way? You see it for the first time and for the last time in your life, and if you suddenly see it again, you will hardly recognize it. So why be embarrassed? Let's open the secret: most people do not care about you. For some it may be an insulting discovery, but shy people can help to stop being shy.

If you need to speak with a stranger, do not immediately adjust yourself to a negative mood. In fact, 90% of people are quitefriendly and happy to help you. And in order not to run into the remaining 10%, before talking to a person, pay attention to the expression on his face: usually a person who is not set up for communication can be seen right away.

Another nuance: when talking to a person, try to look him in the eye. This does not mean that you need to stare at him withoutseparation (still it is impolite), but you do not need to hide your eyes, look somewhere to the side or to your feet. Eye contact is the key to successful communication, it is reserved for giving out your shyness, even if you speak with a confident tone.

In an effort to expand the circle of communication in order to stop being shy, Do not immediately "jump out" far beyond your comfort zone: it can become too big a shock, afterwhich you will become even more shy. Do not immediately decide on a public appearance in front of a large audience or a party with dancing on the tables. It is better to move slowly, but confidently, gradually developing self-confidence, "accumulating" courage.

By the way, about parties, more precisely, about one of their attributes - about alcohol. After drinking, some people manage to stop shy: alcohol blocks internal brakes. But this does not solve the problem, because in a sober state everything remainsas before. A desire to get rid of shyness can lead to the fact that you will start drinking more often, and until the dependence is near. In addition, with "disconnected brakes" you can mess things up, for which you will be ashamed for a long time.

Stop shy is quite real, although not always easy. But if you move in small steps, sooner or later you will pass this path. Good luck!