Shy child

The nature of shyness has not been thoroughly studied beforeSo far: some experts believe that it is inherited, some - that this quality is acquired. If shyness does not acquire paranoid forms, then it is not a flaw, but simply a property of character. Often the shy child himself does not feel any discomfort from his shyness.

A shy child does not necessarily have to be closed and sullen. Usually shy children experience difficulties in the initial stage of communication, embarrassed by the excessive attention of other children and adults. As soon as the shy child gets accustomed and gets used, he will begin to feel more confident.

Shy children feel great in small groups of well-known children. Despite the fact that they are shyto join someone else's game, they like it when someone else joins their game. If a shy child does not try to talk violently, but simply to be interested in something, he will engage in conversation without any shyness.

Usually a shy child begins to suffer from her shyness when her parents consider it a problem. If the child's shyness is constantly accentuated, he will gradually begin to feel inferior, even if before his shyness did not bother him. In addition, he feels guilty for not being able to please, does not justify out of expectation.

So what should you do if you have a shy child? It will not be possible to re-do it - and it does not follow, it is impossible to "blind" from the child what we want. But Unobtrusively help him cope with shyness can and should be, this skill is useful to him in later life. How to do it?

Firstly - never focus on the child's shyness, do not present it as a defect. Shy children usually have a lot of qualitiescharacter, worthy of praise. Usually a shy child is not greedy, happily shares his toys with other children, behaves well. Because shy children are often silent, they know how to listen and the main thing is to hear other people. Look for good in your child.

Also follows Protect the child from excessive attention and criticism of adults. Often shy child hesitates, if withhe is spoken by an unfamiliar adult, afraid to say hello or answer questions. In such situations, many parents begin to put pressure on the child: "Did not they teach you to say hello? You heard that your aunt asked you, answer! "But this can not be done - it is better to carefully distract the attention of the interlocutor from the child. And do not let someone criticize the child in his presence ("He's somehow unsociable you").

At the same time, it is necessary to gradually developchild independence and initiative through everyday communication. You can, for example, invite him to transfer money or ask to make a stop in the minibus. But then again - Do not press and always be close, "on the grab".

It is useful to "lose" such situations with the child in advance. Role-playing games help to work out behavior in potentially embarrassing and difficult situations in a comfortable environment with a familiar person, so that the child will then be easier "in the field." You can rehearse the standard phrases of the beginning and end of the conversation with different groups of people.

A shy child is often afraid to meet his gaze with an interlocutor, looks to the floor or from under his brows. Encourage eye contact with you - after a while the child will begin to look into the eyes of strangers.

A shy child feels uncomfortable in large groups of people and with older children, so there is a sense to train communication skills in pairs, and preferably - with a child of a younger age. Of course, the age difference should not be very significant, otherwise the children will not have common "points of intersection".

But do not expect a shy child to start right away.to behave naturally and uninhibited. It takes time, so be patient. It is very difficult to predict how your child's character can change. Sometimes a shy child "outgrows" his shyness - it turns out to be an age sign. But even if his shyness is a constant trait of character, It is in your power to make sure that your shy child will feel confident enough in different life situations.