Deadlock in the relationship

Very often the impasse in relations arises when it's time to move the relationship to a new level, but one or both partners are afraid to do it. For example, you meet and live for a very long timeseparate, and it would be time already if not to get married, then at least come together, but something stops you. On the one hand, you already do not have enough periodic meetings, on the other - the prospect of living together scares you: what if something goes wrong?

Another example is relations at a distance. Such a relationship is very difficult to maintain over time. Sooner or later you will find yourself in a deadlock when you need to either part ways, or find a way to be around.

But these are not the worst examples of impasse. In fact, such a deadlock in relations and deadlock can be called with a big stretch: in fact, the way out is, just need to find the courage to take advantage of it and stop pasovat before difficulties. It is important to remember that love is not only "sighs on the bench and walks in the moon", but also making difficult decisions.

Much more dangerous situation when one of the partners (or both) no longer feels any feelings, but it is not resolved to break off the relationship either. There are many reasons why peoplemaintain a relationship that has already exhausted itself. It can be a fear of loneliness, a sense of guilt in front of a partner, an unwillingness to cause trauma to children, a fear of changing the way of life.

Here, in this case, we can say that the relationship has really come to a standstill. It seems to be impossible to be together, and it's impossible to part. In which cases should you stop the relationship?

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  if you can not achieve harmony in the relationship and realized that you and your partner are incompatible;
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  if you lost sexual chemistry between you, and return it does not work in any way;
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  if you understand that your life aspirations with your partner have disagreed;
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  if you or your partner do not want further development of relations;
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  if the partner showed a serious defect (alcoholism, pathological infidelity, etc.), from which he does not want to get rid of.

Remaining in an unpromising relationship, you deprive yourself and your partner of the right to happiness. However, do not break the relationship sharply: sometimes the impasse in the relationship is not at alldeadlock. First, talk to a partner, discuss your relationship, compare your vision of the situation. Maybe you just think that the relationship has reached a dead end, but in fact everything is fixable?

Another stalemate is a kind of vicious circle. You quarrel, then keep up, for a whilelive the soul in the soul, then again quarrel ... Constant conflicts exhaust, you have a desire to stop the relationship, but in the "periods of calm" it seems that everything is normal. You think: "This was definitely the last quarrel," and after a while, quarrel again.

Out of this impasse, there is hardly any way out, no matter how you convince yourself otherwise. Such relations do not develop, you simply move in a circle, like a donkey tied to a pillar, all the time returning to the point from which you started.

So, the deadlock in the relationship is a situation in which you can not continue the relationship "in the previous regime": you need to either change something or disagree. And the way out of the impasse must always be found with the partner: for the relationship is responsible for two, so you can notTo take such decisions alone. Discuss with the partner the prospects for the development of your relationship and only then decide whether your ways should really go away forever, or something else can be fixed.