How to work with a former

It is very difficult to face a person every day,with whom you have recently had a relationship. Perhaps you will even want to quit, but think about whether it is worth it? Of course, psychological comfort is very important, but if you are working on a good job with a decent salary and career prospects, you can not just refuse everything. Besides, parting is stress, it is not necessary to aggravate it with stress from a job change.

So, if dismissal is not your option, you will need to figure out how to work with the former. Remember for starters one very important word: subordination. Ideally, you should have followed it and thentime when they were together, not taking their relationship to the public within the office. So, after parting in your behavior and communication at work, there was not much to change. If you are equal in status and used to communicate for coffee, lunch or in a smoking room, just limit communication exclusively to work issues.

How to work with an ex, if he is your boss? This is a difficult situation, because you are independent position, and if parting was difficult, and your former - a vindictive nature, he can arrange a "sweet life" for you. Sometimes it's easier to transfer to another department or to leave, but if you want to keep this place of work, you will have to do everything perfectly, so there is nothing to complain about.

If the former passion quarrels you with unreasonable quibbles, you can try complain to superiors, enlisting the support of colleagues as witnesses. And in cases of violation of the Labor Code, the labor inspectorate will help you - if it is not possible to agree well with the former.

The temptation to take revenge on the former may appear and you, but you need to fight it. It is unlikely that this will help you to ease the mentalpain, but the chances of gaining trouble and enemies in the team are quite high. If you have to criticize the work of the former, do it as correctly as possible. Criticism should be constructive and purely in the case. You do not have to succumb to emotions and mix up the relationship ("Again you're late for work, you're always late for visits!").

You can not dissolve the gossip about the former, denigrate him in the eyes of colleagues, and even more so - to clarify the relationship with him in public. Be polite and tactful if your colleagues want to savor the details of your personal life - stop these attempts. You can try right after the parting takeleave to bring the feelings in order. During this time, the excitement in the office can take a back seat, and you will not be pestered with questions like that. And you a small pause will help to forgive the former, reconcile with parting and get rid of the desire to take revenge (or vice versa - to return everything back).

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to twist a new service romance to annoy the former. Usually novels that happen afterparting "spitefully", do not last long. And now imagine: to you and one former person to be in one office is uncomfortable, and if there are two of them? They can unite against you, what do you have then? In addition, the abundance of official novels will not have the best effect on your business reputation.

So, if you have to work with the former, the main thing to do is to reduce communication to purely business matters. Just do what you must and notgive in to possible provocations, keep as polite and dignified as possible, do not go over to individuals. If you see it day in and day out is very hard, and you do not value much work, you can quit, but this is an extreme measure. And think ten times if suddenly there is a temptation to start a new service romance: do not step on the same rake.