Child from the first marriage

For a child, parents' divorce is a huge stress. And when one of the parents then remarries, the relationship, at times, is not the best way. If the child of the husband / wife lives with you in the family from the first marriage, then the first advice to you - have patience, you will have a long job!

Simpler, from a certain point of view, if the childstill small - it is easier for him to get used to changes in the usual way of life. Quite easy to bear re-marriage of the parent and almost adult children - 16-18 years. And here with teenagers, senior preschoolers will have to be more difficult, because in their lives in this period and so there is a lot of changes.

If the child is already old enough to understand your speech, try not to make him call you "mom" or "dad" . At this stage, let the baby better call youraunt's aunt or uncle, just by name. Otherwise, the child will simply become confused: how many moms and dads he has, who needs to obey the "old" or "new" parent, etc.

It is undesirable, as they say, to put the child before the fait accompli. It will be much easier to adapt a child if acquaintance with a new member of the family will occur gradually. At first it can be joint walks, dinners, lunches ...

Educating their children is hard work, and bringing up the child of the spouse from the first marriage is hard doubly. For a child, you are neither a friend nor a relative, for him you are a stranger, and therefore he needs a lot of time to accept you and start to respect you.

Many stepmothers are afraid to become a "wicked stepmother" for the child, as in the fairy tale about Cinderella. A because they start in every way to coax the child, allow him more than would allow his own children. This leads to the fact that the child quickly learns to manipulate adults for their own benefit.

A child from a first marriage can complain about youhis parents (if he communicates with the second parent), grandparents, and not always on some really existing issue. Or he declares to you that you are absolutely nobody to him, and therefore you do not have the right to educate yourself.

Do not go on about the child. Do not try to fight with him for the love of the spouse. Sometimes it is enough to understand only that love your second half to the child - this is a qualitatively different love than the love for you. Then you will learn not to be jealous of the spouse to the child from the first marriage.

The tactic of raising a child from a first marriage is best discussed with his parent. You must develop a common line of behavior andstick to it. Your spouse should explain to the child that your decisions are as authoritative as his. Although the function of punishment is best left to the native parent of the child.

In his behavior with the child from the first marriage, one should not try to copy the manners of his own mother or father - You should behave with the child naturally. If you have a negative attitude toward the second parent of the child - in no case do not show this attitude to the child, do not insult his parent, do not try to "adjust" it.

The child from the first marriage in a new family is difficult, but it is not sweet for your own children, if they are. Here, and the notorious childish jealousy, and rivalry, and resentment. Try not to allocate especially any of the children, try to show them that you love them all, no matter what.

Successes to you in hard work of education!