Crisis in the relationship: how to survive?

The crisis in relations can be caused by different reasons. Some believe that crises of relations are periodic, as the age-related crises of a person, and arise on the first, third, seventh, fifteenth and twentieth years of a joint life.

For example, The crisis of the first year is a decline after the euphoria of the beginning of relations (or wedding). At the beginning of the relationship, we look at everything through rose-colored glasses, but sooner or later this period ends, and it turns out that not everything is so rosy. In the case of a romantic relationship that is not stamped in the passport, at this stage, it often ends, and the couple scatter in search of new partners who will again give them the euphoria of a new relationship. Yes, and the divorce after the first year of marriage - is not so rare.

The crisis of three years is a manifestation of fatigue from established relationships. Simply put, a couple "zaetat life", in a relationshipthere is a lack of novelty, and sexual relations are becoming less vivid - it seems that everyone has already tried. The traits of a partner's character, which used to be cute eccentricities, may start to irritate. Often this crisis in relations is aggravated by the birth of a child: the woman pays all her attention to the baby, and the man feels uncompetitive.

Often the crisis in relations coincides with the crisis of middle age. During this period there is a reassessment of values, and the spouses begin to critically evaluate, including family relations. And the family crisis can coincide with the "emptying the socket»: before the spouses were connected with the upbringing of children, besides, they were busy with work. But the children grow up, the couple retire and realize that they have remained tete-a-tete. It comes to the realization that they have much less in common than at the time when they just started dating.

How to survive the crisis in relations? First you need to figure out - do you need thisdo. This may sound cynical, but not always broken vase can be glued together. Clinging to illusions, you can only make it worse. But if you really love your partner and are confident that he loves you, you can and must fight for the relationship.

remember, that in the relationship involved two people, so you need to overcome the crisis together. If someone one will adjust, and the secondwill continue to behave as before, it will only give illusion of well-being. For a while everything will be okay, but the discontent will grow, and sooner or later the crisis will return. Therefore, both partners must fight the crisis.

Very important Learn to not just listen, but hear each other. How many times did the husband miss the ears thatthe wife said, mechanically nodding "Yes, dear"? How many times did his wife brush off her husband's advice, saying "Of course, dear," but still doing it your own way? Many problems in the relationship grow from what the partners do not want, do not know how or are afraid to say that they do not like it, letting it go on its own. Or they say, but do not listen to each other.

Another need get rid of illusions about a partner. Often the crisis in relations is due to the fact thatone of the partners (or both) compared his soul mate to a certain ideal, and then found out that to an ideal he / she is far away. But ideal people do not exist, so do not try to remake the spouse "for themselves." It is clear that not with all the shortcomings you need to silently put up, but to bring the struggle for the ideal to the point of absurdity is not worth it, trying, like Pygmalion, to make your partner Galatea. Be realistic.

Try develop their own relationship model. Usually young people transfer to their relationshipsexperience in the family life of parents, but this does not always help (especially if the family model of the partners' parents are very different). So you need to learn to live and build relationships in your own way.

If you are overtaken by the crisis in the relationship, it is necessary to fight not with its external manifestations, but with causes. Any relationship is held on trust, so it is very important to talk frankly with a partner and together try to change the situation for the better.