Encouraging children

All parents are used to that the promotion and punishment of children must depend on how the child behaves. For any offense, punishment is followed, and forany achievements will be praise. But parents often do not notice or do not pay attention to the smallest children's achievements, taking them for granted. Their parental attention they concentrate only on bad deeds, for which it is necessary to punish. And then the parents complain that their child is behaving badly, and there is nothing to encourage.

But in fact, in fact the promotion of children can be much more effective than their punishment. Encourage the child to be right. Indeed, not every encouragement in the family can be considered correct from the point of view of the upbringing process. So, parents often use redemption - they give the child sweets or money for the work done or good grades. What you do not encourage? But this approach to encouraging children is wrong. Parents create a situation in which the child learns not to see his achievements, but to get something valuable for them. Such mercantile relations lead to the fact that the child can hate physical or mental labor, because for him in the literal sense of the word pay.

Not all parents understand that The poor behavior of their children is directly related to the focus on adults. If parents pay more attention tobad behavior, the children will continue to behave in the same way. If we focus on good behavior, then encouraging children will bring excellent results. The main thing is to choose the right words for praise and encouragement.

Think about what ways to encourage children youuse? Some may respond that this is some reward for good behavior (sweets or money). For others, encouraging children is to release some responsibilities, for example, to wash dishes today or clean them in your room. But such encouragement of children is fundamentally wrong. Adults, without understanding it, initially wrongly treat children. Children should not pamper constantly, but reward for their achievements.

To start review your statements in the direction of the child, when you see that he did not do something. All statements with a negative context will lead to the child continuing his actions, which bring bad results. For example, "you have not removed your toys again," you will say, the next time you see a mess in the room. But when the child finally takes away his toys, you will not notice it and think that his actions should be taken for granted. But the simple phrase "well done, how clean you are in the room!" Would be enough to push the child to perform the actions you need next time.

Encouraging children can also be developed in a specific system. Write a list of cases to be performedyour child every day. In the evening, place an asterisk opposite each item. For the work done, there should always be praise. But to that which remained unfulfilled, it is necessary to treat indifferently. For the performance of all duties should be the promotion of the child. It can be a hike in a circus or a zoo. Let your child see how he achieves some success.

Encouraging children can also be done in another form. If your child refuses to do something, do not shout at him. Replace the negative expression with positive, but with the persuasion "if". For example, do not say "you again do not wantbrush your teeth". Replace this expression with this: "If you now quickly brush your teeth, we will have time to read two fairy tales instead of one." As you can see, you do not punish the child, but simply correct his behavior as you need it.

It should be noted that the promotion of children can also depend on their personal qualities. That's it children who can not achieve their goals themselves. They always need someone to lead them. Any personal achievement should be encouraged so that the child can believe in their strength.

There is one more type of children who try to do all the work very carefully. They overestimate their capabilities and take upany task with such scrupulousness that most often they throw all the cases halfway, and not having fulfilled them, because they can not distinguish the main from the secondary. In this case, the promotion of children should not occur for the final result, but throughout the process of doing the work, to give them a sense of self-confidence.

Children who manage everything without special problems should be encouraged very cautiously. The fact is that in this case the encouragement of childrencan do more harm than good. Such a child can become overconfident. In addition, he can discount the achievements of other children, thus placing himself above others. To praise such a child should not be for all the merits, but only for those that were given to him really with difficulty or for the help that he rendered to other children. Only in this case the promotion of the child will be effective.