In his development, the child has to go through several crises. About one of them - a crisis of three years - we already wrote. And when the child goes to school, be ready to survive together crisis of seven years.
Exist four major crises - Crises of 1 year, 3, 7 and 14 years. The crisis of 7 years of them is considered to be the most calm, however this does not mean that you need to close your eyes to it, thinking: "It will pass by itself". At this time, your child needs your support and care more than ever.
Having started to study at school, the child feels himselfmore mature and independent, he has a new responsibility. From it they begin to demand not only to study well, but also to help around the house, write down on different circles and sections. Now what the child does is not only about himself, but also about others. Such a a sharp need for growing up can cause discomfort and even frighten the child - hence the crisis of seven years.
Also, the crisis of 7 years is due to the fact that the child begins to play new social roles. He used to be just a boy (a girl), a sonand a grandson (daughter and granddaughter), and now he is also a pupil of the school, a classmate. The first true friendship is tied up, and the child has to learn to be a friend. Now the child is not in itself, he is a part of society. He appreciates the opinion of others, he learns to communicate with them. Depending on the environment of the child and his place in it is formed child's internal position, which determines its further behavior during life.
During the crisis of three years the child realizes himselfas a separate "I". The crisis of seven years is the realization of one's "I" as a part of society. If before the child expressed his experiences directly, now he has appeared inner life. It affects the external life, albeit indirectly. Hidden experiences cause the main symptoms of the crisis of 7 years in children:
- Loss of immediacy. Previously, the child expressed his desires andDiscontent is straightforward, according to the principle "I want!" Now he thinks: what will be the value for me of what I will do / say? This thought (albeit unconscious for the child himself) expresses the loss of immediacy between the desires and actions of the child.
- The child can start to hide something, to cunning, to dissemble, to make manners. In this way, manicure - another sign of the crisis of seven years.
- The last major symptom of the 7-year crisis is symptom of "bitter candy". Striving to protect his inner world, the childwill try to hide from you what is bad for him. Attempts to elicit what happened can lead to the child closing in and becoming uncontrollable.
Another crisis seven years can be determined by such featured, as low self-esteem, clamor, wrangling,stiffness, stubbornness, outbursts of anger or aggression (or, on the contrary, excessive shyness), increased fatigue, irritability, isolation, problems with academic achievement.
How to overcome the crisis 7 years? Your main assistants in this difficult matter are patience, sensitivity and love. Usually in seven years the child is given to school. However, before sending a child to the first class, check his level of readiness for school - both psychological and intellectual. Strictly the age of the beginning of training is not fixed, so if you decide to wait a year - nothing terrible.
If you still sent the child to study, very muchthe correct adaptation to the school is important. Try to teach the child to the new regime of the day before school, so that he is not so tired in the first weeks. If possible, give the child a short tour of the school - when he knows where everything is, he will feel more confident. First, do not load the child sections, circles and tutors - first, he needs to get used to school. If he started problems with study - think about the correct motivation.
To overcome the crisis of seven years, it is necessary develop intelligence child, but soberly assessing its capabilities. Read books, fairy tales and poems with him, play development games. By the way, the games will help the child learn how to manage their emotions, this will save you from harassing and fussiness. However, do not tie the child to yourself, let him communicate with peers as much as possible.
Learn respect the child. At the first time after you start school, yourthe authority in his eyes may be shaken, because a new authority will appear - the first teacher. Many parents make a common mistake, trying to "build" a child and forbidding him many things. Learn to say "yes," only forbid what really needs to be forbidden. Encourage the independence of the child, but do not force him to behave like adults.
The key to successfully overcoming the crisis 7 years - this is your attention, love, goodwill andsupport. Remember that the crisis of seven years is not a pathology, but a normal course of development of your child. This difficult stage is easiest to overcome together.