Loneliness together

Loneliness together ... It sounds absurd, does not it? Loneliness - from the word "one", but how can you be alone if there are two of you? Perhaps, physically you are really two, but emotionally feel lonely you can practically in any situation: alone with a loved one, in a company of friends, in a crowd. And this loneliness hurts much more.

In the relations of couples, there is often a moment when the routine absorbs them. They live together, sleep in one bed, meet with friends, maybe raise children ... Outwardly everything is fine, however in fact, partners are increasingly moving away from each other and feel lonely. This is the loneliness of the two: a person is physically close, but you can not give each other what "1 + 1" does "2" - support, care, help, sympathy, understanding.

It turns out a kind of paradox: people usually support such relations "by inertia", because they are afraid of loneliness. But actually it is these relationships that make them feel lonely. And often, only after the couple finds the strength to part, both partners understand how in fact they were alone.

Why is this happening? People change - this is an inevitable process, but not always changes in the nature of partners, so to speak, are synchronous. In addition, at the beginning of a relationship we always idealize our partner, but in time we understand that the idealized image does not correspond to the real one. With time comes the realization that the person who is now near you is very different from the person he was at the dawn of your relationship.

Loneliness together is a crisis in the relationship. There are only two options for resolving the crisis: either you break up, or your relationshipcome to a qualitatively different level. And if you start everything on its own, the first outcome is much more likely. The more you keep away from each other, the faster the illusion of a prosperous relationship will disperse. If you continue to pretend that everything is fine with you, the relationship will lead to a dead end, the way out will not be easy to find (or even impossible).

So, what if you suddenly realized that your family life is a loneliness together? To start talk to the partner and find out if he feels the same way. Only no reproaches and accusations - justcalm conversation heart to heart. Find out why you have moved away from each other, and decide - do you really want to return what was between you. If you still have feelings, you can try to start all over again.

It is interesting that some people are alone comfortable with loneliness, they do not see any problem in it. Such relationships are calm, stable, predictable - What else do you want? If both partners are satisfied and do not experience discomfort from a sense of loneliness, perhaps nothing is not worth changing. But such relationships will never be truly happy. Are you ready to exchange happiness for stability and routine?

Loneliness alone is a much more common problem than it seems. Many people for years live such a life: for fear of being condemned, for the sake of common children,because of material well-being, out of habit, finally, that "in old age there was someone to give a glass of water." If this is your case, we have not the slightest right to dictate to you how to act, but we can remind: everyone has the right to be happy. And what will bring you happiness, it's up to you.