How to acquire outstanding communication skills by observing others

With whom you communicate more, with your gadgets orwith people? The skill of communication can be hone not only by interacting with people, but also by observing them. Former FBI agent, behavioral analysis expert, Jack Schafer in the book "Turning the charm according to the methods of special services" talks about verbal and non-verbal friendly and hostile signals that will tell a lot about the degree of friendship and intimacy between people. And if you know how to recognize, you can send the right signals yourself and improve your communication skills.

Watch and learn

When a person has earphones in his ears and he drivesfinger on the screen of your smartphone or tablet, you can not send friendly signals to others. Moreover, these are signals indicating the absence of communication. How can I learn the skill of communication without personal interaction with other people? You can learn a lot by simply observing the behavior of others!

And to learn this is not difficult. Go to a cafe or restaurant, sit down at a table and watch. Seventy percent of all information communicated by people to each other is transmitted during the absorption of food. Take a closer look at the couples and try to understand what kind of relationship they have. Do this not only intuitively, but also analyze the signals of their non-verbal communication.

Love relationship

By non-verbal behavior of men and womenyou can almost with absolute certainty determine whether they are in a romantic relationship or not. And the first sign is that lovers hold hands. Interlaced fingers indicate a high intensity of relationships. The interlacing of fingers with the fingers of a partner is one of the most intimate types of touch.

Usually at the table, a man and a woman makesome actions: first, remove obstacles on the table, resolutely shifting the vase, menu or saltcellar from the center to the edge; Secondly, they demonstrate active facial expressions, including the game with eyebrows; thirdly, they look at each other longer than usual; Fourthly, they smile and laugh; Fifth, they bow their heads to one side; Sixthly, they sit, leaning against the body to meet each other; seventhly, unconsciously copy the gestures and movements of each other; eighth, hold hands; in the ninth, freely, actively talking and gesticulating; in the tenth, sometimes whisper something in the ear, letting others know that the third in their conversation is superfluous; in the eleventh, eat from the plates of each other or feed each other.

Watch the couples in the restaurant, it's fascinating.

Strained relations

The tension in the relationship is also quite obvious. In this case, there are no nonverbal signals between a man and a woman, which are certainly with good relations. For example, when talking, they do not look at each other, but in plates or on the sides. They have forced, false smiles. The head is held straight, not bending to one side. These people do not lean towards each other and do not copy each other's gestures. Sit, leaning back on the chairs, as if trying to move away as far as possible. And between them on the table are a hundred obstacles - plates, cups, menus, vases, telephones, laptops ...

Disorder in relationships

It is not difficult to see discord, when one of the pairreveals to the other a genuine interest, expressing it with involuntary nonverbal means, and the latter behaves with cold indifference. The interested person demonstrates all the signs of love listed above, while his partner literally emits negative (hostile) non-verbal signals.

Calm Confidence

Couples who have lived in a happy marriage for many years,often behave in a way that their behavior can be interpreted as a signal that the relationship has deteriorated. People who live side by side for many years are confident in their partner's devotion. They do not need constant reminders about this. They are calm and very comfortable feel with each other, because they are not afraid of betrayal or treason. The observation of such mature couples gives me incredible pleasure, and even creates the impression of a miracle.

It is also interesting to observe the relationship betweenmaking a deal by businessmen, a man and a woman with whom he is trying to get acquainted, or friends who have run up to eat or drink. The meaning of this lesson is to sharpen the observation, to learn the natural non-verbal behavior when communicating and to acquire the ability to interpret human behavior. After enough practice, you will bring up the ability to evaluate to automatism, and therefore, you will also acquire outstanding communication skills.