Why does the child not obey?

Obedience can be presented as unquestioningfulfillment by the child of all requirements and requests of parents. What prevents a child from fulfilling these requirements, or, conversely, not to do forbidden things? First, often disobedience is born of a lack of understanding of the very essence of the ban. The child is puzzled: "Why can adults, but I can not?". Secondly, a child can sincerely want to do everything as parents say, but he really does not work. And, finally, third, the child can not obey out of stubbornness. A little closer look at these reasons.

So, why does the child not understand that from himwant? Natural curiosity makes small researchers study all subjects around and their properties. The child sees how his mother picks a match, and he also wants to do so to understand what is happening. The child likes the sound of hitting the machine about the glass and he repeats this action again. An important role in this is the reaction of the parents. For example, the kid knocks the same machine on a wooden table - my mother is calm and continues to do their business. But here he grabbed a toy and starts knocking on the glass. What does mom do? That's right, with the screams "You can not!" Rushes to save the glass. The baby is happy - this is what he made my mother do. It should be repeated!

If a child is asked to do something, but at the same timeDo not show how, can you expect that he will obey? Hmm, doubtful. But if my mother turns the ritual of folding toys into a kind of game, for example, we do not put the machine in a box, we put it into the garage, dolls and little animals-we put them to bed. At first, you need to help the child, but then folding the toys will be a natural process for him and will not cause protest.

Obstinacy can arise on the ground of too many or too strict prohibitions and restrictions. For example, a baby of two or three years asks her mother:

- Mom, can I go play outside?

"No, it's too cold."

- Mom, can I play at home?

- No, you will break something.

- Mom, can I wear a beautiful pink dress?

"No, you'll tear it or stain it."

- Mom, can I have an ice cream?

"No, you'll catch a throat ..."

As a result, the girl burst into tears, and her mother complainsto disobedience. Therefore, the main rule of parents of obedient children - prohibitions and restrictions should be reasonable. In addition, honestly, we admit to ourselves: often the requirements for the child are not based on considerations of its safety, but are more oriented toward convenience for parents. After all, to look after the playing child carefully, so that dangerous objects do not get in his field of vision more difficult than simply to forbid playing at all. Is not it?

Often children obey one parent, but quitedo not obey the second. Why is this happening? Because parents are not consistent in their demands on the child. Mom forbade me to run around in puddles, but my father also slanders: "Come on, give it a nap!". Dad forbade to sleep in the parent's bed, and mom herself takes the baby to sleep next to her. The child can not discern what all the same can and can not be. Therefore, he will listen to a more "soft-bodied" parent less.

A child can not be born obedient. Obedient to it is education, the attitude of adults towards it. So, if the prohibitions of parents do not run counter to the natural needs of the child, he has less reason not to comply with these prohibitions.

Every child is different. For someone to sit five minutes in one place - a real punishment, and another child is able to at least half an hour thoughtfully messing with toys. This must be taken into account, "trying" on your child the criteria of obedience.