Surely you have met people who are looking atpeace from the position of the victim and complain about the injustice of the world around: they say, I'm so good, but they do not appreciate me, do not like me, they offend me. And sometimes, perhaps, they themselves were in their place. Can this kind of harm us? self-pity?
To blame other people for their troubles and evenThe state or the world as a whole is the simplest approach in the face of difficulties. It is difficult to recognize your mistakes, it is always easier to adhere to the position "I'm right, but they are not, I'm good, and they are bad." Self-pity allows us to alleviate difficulties.
At first glance, it seems that it allows us to cope with problems and move forward. Like, if I do not support myself and I will not regret - who else will do it? But in the long run, self-pity may be devastating.
If we are used to feeling sorry for ourselves, sooner or later we find ourselves in a closed circle. Self-pity seems to have helped overcomeone problem - but then the next one appears. And then there will be one more, and more, and more ... All because we are too busy to do anything realistically - we feel sorry for ourselves, energy and forces that can be found much more worthy of use.
To change something for the better, you need the ability to take responsibility. But self-pity with responsibility is badly combined. We regret ourselves precisely because we are afraid of responsibility, consequences. Even if we are right, and we have really been offended, it is always easier to regret ourselves than to give the abuser a real rebuff: but suddenly I will only make it worse.
No wonder the words "pity", "pity" and "pathetic" one root. Constantly self-pity person is really pathetic, he rarely causes sympathy for others. Pitying yourself, you cherish your inner loser. Self-pity is called the main feeling of a person's inner slave - a slave of his own weakness, who is unable to realize his potential and achieve what he could achieve.
Self-pity can manifest itself in different ways. Every time, the code you say: "I want to learn English, but I do not have the ability" or "I want to go in for sports, but I do not have time" - you feel sorry for yourself (or just do not really want it). Procrastination is also a consequence of self-pity, it only "eats" your time, absolutely not making life easier.
Of course, there are cases when self-pity is justified. Sometimes it does happen thatcircumstances are not in your favor, and you really are not to blame. In this case, you can and should regret yourself. But if this becomes a habit, and the victim's position becomes the norm for you, you need to prepare for unpleasant consequences.
The habit of constantly wanting oneself leads to negative consequences - for both mental and physical health. On the mental plane, it leads to irritability, anger, resentment, distrust. It is clear that people will begin to avoid contact with you, and this will cause a new round of self-pity - "they are bad, no one likes me" - and so on in a circle.
But it's not so bad. Few people think that frequent and prolonged self-pity can cause problems with physical health: heart palpitations, dyspnea, dizziness,nausea, vomiting and even fainting. The thing is that constant self-pity leads to increased production of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. In moderate doses, it is necessary for the body, but its increased concentration weakens the vascular tone, loosens the autonomic nervous system and leads to the symptoms described above.
So stop feeling sorry for yourself: it will not lead to anything good. The habit of feeling sorry for oneself is like a swamp. If you are really all bad, pity yourself, cry (this is useful, tears are a natural antidepressant), and then get up, shake and go on. The outbursts of self-pity should be one-off shares, not the usual state.
Of course, to stop regretting is not easy, butThere is no other way out. It is very scary to open your eyes to your own imperfections and to critically evaluate your own actions. But without this there is no way to self-improvement. You need to love yourself as a strong person, and not as an object of pity. And then everything in your life will be all right!