When a person feels that no one likes him,he is often told this: "Until you love yourself, no one will love you." Just love yourself - it's not an easy task, because you know all your shortcomings, you see all your imperfection. How to learn to love yourself?
How does one determine that a person does not love himself - or does not love enough? Such people often feel guilty, evenif there is no reason for this. They fixate themselves on their failures and unpleasant situations, but forget about the victories. They are constantly justified, even if they are told compliments (and these excuses are not flirty, but the most that neither is sincere).
It is reflected on the exterior: people who lack love for themselves,often stooped, their movements bound. You can sometimes recognize them by their facial expressions: they "give out" dislike to themselves the corners of the mouth, eyebrows and eyes lowered downwards. Often these people have complexes that they have not gotten rid of since adolescence: the ugly duckling has already turned if not into a beautiful swan, then into a pretty pretty duck or drake, but still considers himself an ugly duckling. How can you learn to love yourself?
Let them say that they love not for something, but just like that, anyway - find in yourself something for which you can be loved. Or at least praise - start small. Try to praise yourself as often as possible - an occasion for praise is always there. Even if it seems to you that the achievement is so insignificant, that there is nothing to praise, still do not skimp on praise. But on your failures do not get hung up, they are not worth it.
You can also do this: take two sheets of paper. On one write out all your failures (as it seems to you), on the second - all your achievements. That is, on one sheet there will be a list of reasonsnot love yourself, on the second - a list of reasons to love yourself. Then cross out the entire negative written on the first sheet, and discard it. And put the second sheet in a secluded place and every time when you have another attack of dislike for yourself, get it out and reread, preferably aloud.
To learn to love yourself, do not be afraid to indulge yourself. We give gifts to those we love, do not we? So make gifts to yourself! And it should be a gift, not just another planned purchase. For example, you can give yourself a movie trip to an interesting film instead of downloading it and watching at home. Or buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. Yes, even a cup of delicious coffee in a cafe can raise your spirits.
Yet learn to love yourself help mirror. Usually people who can not love themselves,looking in the mirror, see only the shortcomings of their appearance: a jumped pimple or a too large nose. Your task - looking in the mirror, focus on your own merits. Do you have beautiful eyes or a shape of your lips? Perfectly! Make a compliment to your reflection, out loud. It seems stupid, but often works. And smile, smile more to yourself.
But in this case Do not ignore the shortcomings of your appearance. It is good, of course, to love yourself the way you arethere is, but always need to strive for the best. Take care of yourself, do not neglect cosmetic procedures - they will not only help you become more beautiful and improve your self-esteem, but also raise your spirits. Choose the clothes that suit you. And do not be afraid to wear bright colors, you do not have to try to hide from the outside world with the help of gray-black clothes.
Finally, the last stage is the realization of one's ownuniqueness. Ideally, you need to learn to love yourself not for achievement or appearance (although they are the first step on the path to self-love), but simply because you are you. There is no other such person on earth, therefore you are worthy of love - both your own and the love of other people. The main thing here is not to cross the line between self-love and narcissism: love yourself for who you are, but at the same time remember that there are no limits to perfection.
If there is no way out to learn how to love yourself - contact a psychologist. It will help to cope with complexes and raise self-esteem. Do not be shy about psychologists - A good specialist can really help you learn to love yourself. If, of course, you really want this.