How to prepare an older child for the appearance of a younger child?

The reason for the hostility of the older child - jealousy. He is afraid that with the advent of a small parent, he will no longer pay so much attention to him, as before, that a new member of the family will love more. therefore the task of parents is to properly prepare the eldest for the birth of a brother or sister.

The first thing you need to start preparing for is to explain to the elder at the planning stage of the second child, What advantages will it bring? the birth of a brother or sister. Tell your child how wonderful it will be for them to play together, that now he will have a new closest friend. However, do not ask the baby if he wants a brother or sister when you are already waiting for a second child. If the child says "no", you will be at times harder to convince him.

A good tool for the positive attitude of the older child on the expected appearance of the younger will be his Active participation in this process. Let your older child choose with you the name of your future baby. It is also possible, together with the older child, to monitor the development of the baby. Going to buy a "dowry" for a newborn, do not forget to buy something for the elderso that he does not feel hurt.

You can also arrange a small exchange of gifts between a newborn and an older child. Together choose a gift for the newborn, and on behalf of the younger give a gift to the older child. This helps to establish friendly relations between children. By the way, some mothers during the whole pregnancy sometimes do, as it were on behalf of the future baby, give small gifts to the elder. They tell their older children that, you see, your brother or sister already loves you very much, they can not wait to see you soon.

Let the eldest child talks to your "pussy", answer him on behalf of the future baby.

Do not pre-arrange that your children will be at enmity. Try to avoid warning phrases such as "We will still belove you. " Perhaps your older child did not intend to think so, but after your words, he will think about how you will treat him. This can be manifested by whims. For example, your older child will behave like a baby, ask him to feed him with a spoon, rock before bed, carry on his hands, demanding attention. Try to explain that young children behave this way only because they do not know how. But he, the oldest child, is already an adult, and he can do much more than the younger one, for example, running along the street, playing in the yard with other children.

With the advent of the youngest child in the family for the elder there are many new prohibitions. Now you can not shout loudly, knock orrun and jump around the room. Such prohibitions cause the child to make an unacceptable goal for all. You better beforehand gradually prepare the elder to the new rules of behavior.

Help mom to care for the baby should not turn into a duty. Let him help you from time to time, voluntarily, for which you will certainly praise him.

Keep the old relationship with the older child even after the birth of the younger. Continue to go with the elder on walks, draw and read together. It is important that the child understands that with the birth of a brother or sister, he should not give up his usual occupations. It is important that all important planned changes in the life of the elder, if possible, occur in advance, so that the child does not associate these changes with the appearance of the younger one.

There are cases when thanks to the "help" of compassionate relatives and friends, the eldest child, with joywho took the news about the appearance of the younger, begins to act aggressively and show jealousy. For example, a grandmother of the best intentions will regret the baby, telling him how miserable he is now. After such suggestion, the child really begins to feel unhappy. How to avoid such situations? The best option is to warn in advance such relatives and friends about your position, explain to them that it is not worth expressing with the child.

Do not overreact the older childif he shows interest in the younger. It is clear, of course, that you are afraid, as if the elder with his careless actions did not harm the baby. However, constant pulling, shouting, "do not come here!", "Do not stand here!", Etc. will cause the elder child only aggression and only "add oil to the fire."

There is nothing more important in the world than the happiness and health of your children: both the elder and the younger. Helping children from the very beginning to establish friendly contact, mutual respect and trust, you will help them grow up as independent, strong personalities!

And how did you cope with childish jealousy? How do your children relate to each other? Share your experience!