The crisis is an inalienable stage in the development andgrowing up of a child, a kind of transition to a new level. In three years the child begins to realize himself as a person, accordingly his behavior changes. Often crisis of three years it turns out to be an unpleasant surprise for the parents.
The crisis of three years. Symptoms
How to determine that your child has a crisis of three years? Psychologists believe that the crisis of three years in children is characterized by seven basic signs. They were first identified and named by the well-known psychologist L.S. Vygotsky.
The first sign - negativism. The child tries always and in everything to contradictadults. This is not just obedience: a three-year-old child can act even against himself, just to annoy parents. As they say, "I'll freeze my ears for spite". When the crisis of three years, child negativity sometimes comes to ridiculous - the child denies the obvious things, calling the cat a dog.
The next sign of the crisis of three years - stubbornness. The child will stand on his own until the last,ignoring the needs and desires of other people. The child is not stubborn because he really wants something, but simply for the sake of over-reinforcing the adults. Sometimes the stubbornness of a child can go into childish hysterics, and often in crowded places.
The crisis of three years in children is also manifested in obstinacy. The child rebels against the usual rules and norms. He can refuse to wash and brush his teeth, ignores the demands of adults. This protest is not against specific people, but against the way of life and the system as a whole.
The signs of a crisis of three years are self-will. At three years in the speech of the child appears pronoun"I". He tries to do everything himself and only himself, without the help of adults, even if it is beyond his power. In order to persuade parents to allow him to do something alone, he can use any methods.
The crisis of three years is sure to accompany protest. The child constantly tries to fight with someone, both with others and with himself. Conflicts with adults are inevitable and become more frequent.
Characteristic for the crisis of three years is depreciation, in the first place, depreciation of the parentalauthority and habitual way of life. The child can tease parents, call and scold them. He loses interest in old toys, breaks and throws them out. Previously, dear and loved things and people now evoke dislike and rejection.
The last sign of the crisis of three years - despotism. A child tries to make others danced underhis tune, to subdue all and all. If a child in the family is alone and used to indulging him, despotism manifests itself particularly vividly. If a child has younger brothers or sisters, despotism can manifest as jealousy.
The crisis of three years. How to survive?
The crisis of three years in children is inevitable, therefore parents should be prepared for it. How to behave properly with a small despot? First of all, in advance, accustom the child to a firm daily routine. We mentioned above that the crisis of three years is characterized by the desire to destroy the foundations, and the harder they are, the worse it will be for the child. However, do not put too much pressure on him.
Each family has its own prohibitions. Make sure that words in this case were backed up by deed. If you banned something to a child, you do not need to doexceptions: he will see that bans can be violated at will, and negative manifestations of the crisis of three years will worsen. But do not set unnecessary prohibitions simply to accustom the child to discipline - nothing good will come of it.
During the crisis of three years the child will show more and more independence. Do not blame him for it all the time. Of course, serious offenses must be punished, but It is not necessary to stop any manifestations of independence.
Do not try to avoid conflicts, it is still impossible. Indulging the child, you thereby assert his superiority, and capricious behavior can gain a foothold and remain with him after the crisis. Learn to say "no" when it really is necessary, this will help to avoid many problems in the future.
If the child is capricious, especially in a public place, Do not shout at him the answer. First, you still can not get to itreach out as he screams or weep. Secondly, the goal of his hysterics is to attract your attention. Without the audience, the child will quickly calm down, and you can calmly talk. Keeping calm and ignoring the hysteria, you will speed up its completion. Of course, if you are in a crowded place, first take away the child from there, so as not to irritate people and not create a reputation for an indifferent mother.
During the crisis of three years it is important observe the golden mean. Excessive authoritarianism is just as bad asexcessive softness and pliability. Get used to the fact that your child began to realize himself as a person. Encourage self-expression, try to find a common language with him in solving problems, provide him with alternative options, if possible.
Do not take the crisis of three years as something terrible. This is a natural stage in the development of the child, which sooner or later will pass. In this period, your child needs your support, love and care more than ever. It will certainly convey your positive attitude, and together you can overcome this difficult time.