Live with parents: the mission is feasible!

Living with parents is often accompanied by conflicts. The cause of conflicts can be different, starting withhousehold trifles and ending with the dislike of parents to the chosen one / the chosen one of their children. But in most cases, if you do not stop the conflicts, at least smooth out the sharp corners.

The most "neglected" case - when parents (one or even both at once) do not like the chosen one of their child. It can appear in different ways: even if parents do not openly show their hostility, hiding hostility, a certain psychological discomfort and emotional tension will be felt. Especially if a young couple is aware of such a relationship of parents.

Often the cause of conflicts are household issues. If you decide to live with your parents, prepare forthat will have to adjust to their household habits - after all, the owners in the house are parents. On the other hand, parents will inevitably have to adapt to you. The hardest thing is if the daughter-in-law lives in the house of her mother-in-law. Two mistresses may have absolutely different views on farming, it is the differences in these views that can provoke conflicts.

One of the most common causes of conflict is financial issue. When a young couple begins to live with their parents,those at first provide them with financial assistance, helping to get back on their feet. If the relationship with parents is good and they are not a burden to help children, and children, in turn, do not hesitate to accept help, then everything is fine. But it often happens that a young couple does not try to start earning enough by sitting on their parents' neck. Or the parents help "demonstratively", reproaching the children with every penny.

Of course, have life with parents and their advantages. Young family save money on the rent,purchase or removal and arrangement of an apartment, purchase of household appliances. This allows you to quickly accumulate money for a separate residence. In addition, parents can help in solving everyday problems that inevitably arise in a young family. And after the birth of the child, the grandmother can help a young mother, who for the first time will probably have a hard time.

But every medal has a downside. Saving and helping with household matters is good, but if a young couple gets used to living with their parents, she may have problems with self-planning of the family budget and solving household problems. They get used to rely on their parents in everything.

Also, far from always the help of parents is expressed in councils. In many cases, representatives of the seniorgenerations indicate, and even order, and moreover try to control the implementation of these instructions. Pleasant little, agree. And if this is also reinforced by the hyperopean parents in relation to their married offspring, the situation becomes even more tense.

Is it possible to live with parents in the world? Of course, the cases when living with parents are perfect, are quite rare, because we are all people with their "zamorochki." But, in principle, it is quite possible as much as possible to smooth out sharp corners and to adjust if not warm, then at least neutral relations.

The most important thing is not to be afraid to talk. Often an intermediary between a young family andparents are one of the spouses - in fact, their son or daughter. But this communication often resembles a broken phone. Even worse is when both families are silent about the problems and each does it in their own way. Discontent will grow, and sooner or later an explosion will occur.

Therefore it is very important to maximize calmly discuss the problems that have arisen and find ways to solve them. Even if the parents try to talk withyou in high tones, stay calm. Try to build relationships on mutual respect and consider each other's opinions. Although in those issues that concern only your family, without affecting both, it is better to act on the principle of "listen and do it your way." Thank for the advice, but do as you want, only not too demonstratively.

It's not easy to live with parents, although this is often the only way out at the beginning of the wedding. Therefore it is worth all the same try to acquire a separate housing if possible and get used to an independent life. But, living separately, still try not to forget about your parents and visit them.